


You will always be safe in my arms

by Madamegoethe



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: ALL the tags, Anal Sex, Angst, BAMF John, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, So much fucking fluff, Virgin Sherlock, but John saves the day as per usual, just the threat of it, no actual rape or non-con, no seriously I hope to god this will make you squeal with johnlock feels, not really edited but I'm actually rather proud of this one so sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 07:28:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1679876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madamegoethe/pseuds/Madamegoethe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unplanned encounter between Sherlock and Moriarty makes the Consultant Detective feel real fear for the first time in his life.<br/>John, as always, is there to save his life. But this time, John will have to take care of much more than just physical scars - and he will do it gladly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You will always be safe in my arms

**Author's Note:**

> I was prompted for " a tiny little something" by MyFirstistheFourth (over on ff.net) with something like "Moriarty wants to get it on with Sherlock but John saves the day and sexytimes ensue".  
> I'm afraid that "tiny little something" turned into a wee bit more as I ran away with it. I hope she still likes it.  
> Also: critique is always welcome, this is not really beta'd or edited much yet and it is also my first REAL explicit Johnlock story so,well, yeah... I'm still learning but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless. Now enough with the rambling and on with the story!

He had him at gunpoint and his neck was uncomfortably strained backwards. Well. He had always thought it would have ended between Moriarty and himself but it still made him furious that he got trapped that easily! And yes, he had sent John away, distraction-for him, for John, he didn´t even remember anymore-he just felt a pang in his chest, a sharp ache.

_John won´t be here when I die_ he thought, _he won´t hold me during my last moments, he won´t be here like he always is to save me. I´ll die alone. Why does that bother me so much, I always knew I would. I…_

 Moriarty interrupted his train of thoughts with his sickeningly silky voice in his ear, a sing-song melody, tasting of Irish and danger and lust

“Oooh Sherlock, I´m so glad we´re finally alone, your little pet is nowhere to be seen and I´ve got you all to myself! I think I´d rather like to see you, feel you, taste you _thoroughly_ before I kill you!”   
He said and Sherlock shivered and suddenly felt very sick when he noticed one of Moriarty´s spidery hands toying with the buttons of his shirt. NO….no god no, please, not like this!

  
He heard and felt another puff of warm breath in his ear, disgustingly sweet “Ah no need to be afraid Sherlock, I will be gentle…maybe...if you´re a good boy! You know, I was always so jealous of that little army doctor, but then again…you never let him have you, always just teasing tsktsktsk!”  
 and he ran a cold, pale finger over his right nipple. Sherlock shivered again, with disgust and fear and he closed his eyes, lips trembling, panicking now but not wanting to show it. He knew what was to come and suddenly, dying wasn´t the most frightening aspect of this scenario anymore.

He tried hard to imagine John, shutting his eyes as close as they would go, seeing John, John smiling, John in his horrid jumpers, John making him eat, even berating him, anything but this, just JohnJohnJohnJohn!!!!   
“I can see that you´re still thinking about your pet and daddy doesn´t like that at aaaaalll!” he heard Moriarty say in that hideous sing-song voice. He kept his eyes shut as he felt his head being yanked back by his hair, painfully.   
“No-ooooo, that little Doctor of yours was never more than a tiny distraction for me or did you really think he could figure this puzzle out, where you would be n…”  
 And then a shot and a shout disturbed the silence of the pool, Sherlock felt the grip on his hair loosen and turned his head, opened his eyes to find - John!

  
His heart was still thrumming at a thousand beats per second it seemed, but he registered the gun in John´s hand, saw murder in his eyes and then looked to his left. Clean shot through the head. Dead under the second. Pity, actually.  
 He was still looking at Moriarty when he heard a gravelling voice from his right  
 “I might not be as smart as you two fuckers but I´ll be damned if I ever not get my best friend out of trouble you fucking bastard!”  
 He finally turned his head again but John was already on his knees, his hands all over him, frantically checking for injuries but he couldn´t stand it right now. “Please John, NO! I’m…it’s…ok, thank…thank you. I just want to go home, can we talk later?”   
He was astonished that his voice sounded so broken but he didn’t care at the moment. He really just wanted to go home right now. With John. Back home to safety. John just nodded and helped him up, gingerly, not touching more than his upper arm and guided him towards a cab.

 He texted Lestrade on the way back to 221B, explaining next to nothing but instructing him not to call him for at least two days. He rushed up the stairs when they arrived and planned on going to sleep immediately but found himself shivering in his pyjamas and thus went back to the living room where John had lit a fire and patted the place on the duvet beside him, smiling gently, two cups in his hands.  
 “Come on, you don´t have to talk or anything but I…I´m not a detective but I know you´re not a machine and I´m your friend so I can read you pretty well by now and I can see you´re upset as hell so please..”  
 He took the tea out of Johns hands and sat down, not cross-legged as usual but with his knees drawn up to his chin, one arm around his legs and the other clutching his tea, staring into the fire.

 After what felt like an eternity to John and five seconds to Sherlock, John asked  
 "Sherlock…I know you weren´t exactly physically harmed but…when I finally found you…half of your shirt was off. Did he…did he…”   
“John!” Sherlock snapped “please I…it´s barely been four hours and I just...I just..” he choked on his own words   
“I…Jesus Sherlock I didn´t want to…I just wanted to know whether I should check…anywhere else. Is it…was it just the shirt, did I…did I come in time? Oh GOD please tell me I came in time!”   
He sounded so desperate and shaken that Sherlock looked at him briefly, acknowledging, and nodded

 ”Yes, I´m ok John. He didn´t get any further but he told me what he wanted to do w… _to_ me and I...I just…I shouldn´t have, I should have THOUGHT and …but I just panicked” he ended, mumbling, hanging his head.  
 John´s heart broke “Sherlock?” he whispered “Sherlock? Can I…can I touch you? Just…just pet your head, you know, jus…UMPF!”

Sherlock forced his whole upper body into John’s, curling around him as if he wanted to crawl into him and never leave; it knocked all the air out of John. After a second, he heard him whisper “Okay?” against his shoulder and John just kissed his curls in response, petting his hair, stroking his shoulders soothingly. God if he had been any later, if he hadn´t gotten the clue right, if he… he was so in his head that he unconsciously grabbed Sherlock´s hair a little harder than he had intended to and only stopped when the younger man made a sound of discomfort

“Oh God! Oh, oh GOD, sorry! I was just…sorry! Relax again, please, just…”  
 “John?”  
 “Yes?”  
 “I think I want to go to sleep now”  
 “Yes, that´s a great idea Sh...”  
 “But I´m afraid that I´ll have…erm…that…I don´t, normally, but after this”  
 “I understand”

John simply said and pressed another kiss into his flat mate’s curls. “Your room or mine?”   
Sherlock blinked up at him but, after a few seconds of utter confusion, said, with thankfulness in his eyes “Yours, if you don´t mind”.

  
John didn´t. He led Sherlock up to his bedroom, tucked him in once he had changed into his pyjamas and then climbed into his side of the bed, keeping a respectful distance. He still couldn’t sleep. Of course he couldn´t. The man he loved - wait! His best friend - he sighed-yeah okay, let´s face it, his best friend that he also loved, had loved for a very long time now, had nearly been raped (and killed! His mind thankfully provided) today, of bloody course he couldn´t sleep! He looked at Sherlock´s back. He wasn´t sleeping either, obviously.

 “Sherlock?” he whispered, and the man turned to face him, eyes wide and curls disarrayed and just oh-so-beautiful. He nearly stopped breathing “Sh...Sherlock? I just wanted to say…whatever you need me to do, if there´s anything at all I can do to make this go away or to make you feel better, please tell m…”

 “Would you have sex with me?”

 John opened his mouth but no sound came out.

“I…sorry John, I know you´re not gay, I´m not asking for full - on sex, I didn´t…well I´m actually…what Mycroft said” he mumbled and hid his face in the crook of his elbow and if that wasn´t the sweetest thing John had ever seen than he had no idea what was  
 “I…I just…no sorry, it was a stupid idea, forget it!” and he tried to turn his back to John but he held him back, one hand very softly stroking his wrist  
 “No Sherlock, talk to me, tell me, it´s all fine, tell me, please!”   
He still wouldn´t face him fully but exhaled loudly and then fired out  
 ”I´m a virgin, tonight was the closest I´ve ever gotten to sex and this is not what I want to remember for the rest of my life! I have thought about it, sex, that is, sometimes, a bit. N…Nothing dirty, really!”

he sounded so panicked and innocent that John just couldn´t help but smile and dsmooth a thumb over his cheekbone “but…but tonight…I was so afraid! Not of dying but…but…” his voice died, choking.  
 “Shhh” John made and kissed his temple, his thumb never leaving his cheekbone.   
“Sherlock, I know what you mean, but sex, right now?! Let´s…let´s take it slow okay? You´ve been through a hell of a lot today darling!” and he kissed his cheek. Sherlock suddenly turned around “Darling?” he inquired and John blushed. Sherlock looked and looked and…”but you said you´re not gay!”

 John smirked and smoothed an errant curl back “Yeah well…doesn´t mean I can´t be bisexual, can it?!” and he reveled in the beautiful and surprised “Oh” Sherlock´s mouth made.   
“Point is” he kept on going “You´ve never done this before and tonight of all nights might not be the best time to start with this. I´m - tell me if I´m wrong here Sherlock, but I´m guessing you just want to be close to someone you trust right now, don´t you?!”   
Instead of an answer, Sherlock just huddled closer to John and hid his face in John´s neck once more and John reacted immediately, hugging Sherlock to him tightly, kissing his curls, his forehead, his cheeks, whispering soothing words to him and warming his shivering form with his body until they both fell asleep from exhaustion, entangled in each other.

John woke up with an armful of detective in the morning and, after the initial shock, he cuddled him even closer, drew him nearer to his body and kissed his curls, whispering soothing words to his flat mate who slowly came back to the world and suddenly jumped so hard he nearly dislodged John´s chin.  
“JOHN!” he screamed “what are you doi…what are we…oh…oh… _SHIT!_ John, I´m so sorry, please forget everything about yesterday night, I don´t know what happened, I wasn´t in my right mind, I´m sorry, I just …I never meant to…”

“Sherlock, SHERLOCK!”

 And John actually held him by his bicep and shook him slightly, “Sherlock!”

 The man blinked but shut up.   
“Sherlock, listen…it was a bad night for both of us. But neither of us was drunk. I said what I said being fully conscious. You, however, might still have been in shock so if you want to take it back, go back to all that married to your work shit, it´s okay, I´ll jusmpffff!”

And then John couldn´t talk anymore because Sherlock claimed his mouth, inexperienced, but with passion and love, eager beyond belief, kissing and sucking and tasting him as if he wanted to devour him whole.  
 John shoved him off after a few seconds, panting and wiping saliva of his chin. “SHERLOCK!” he rasped “what the…?”  
Sherlock didn´t really have an answer. The only thing he knew was that he sat there, maybe two feet away from John, on John’s bed, and he already felt cold.  
 Cold and alone.

So instead of answering he let himself fall forward again and snuggled up and into John, fitted his body into John’s curves, his mop of hair under his chin, his mouth near to his collarbone, breathing heavily, heart beating fast. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to get _that_ image out of his mind palace and replace it with Johns but it was hard…so damn hard!

 “Sherlock?” Johns soft voice whispered and he only pushed his nose further into John´s pyjama clad chest.  
 “Oh Sherlock!” he heard John sigh and then felt him shuffling, getting closer to him, face to face, chest to chest, his arms around him, drawing him in until all he could smell was John and safety and all he could feel was John´s hand in his curls, his breath on his cheek and the light kisses he occasionally left there.

Sherlock finally pulled himself together enough to whisper “John…you don´t have to...I´m sorry.” John tipped his head upwards so he´d have to look him into the eyes, dark blue, stormy, dangerous but calming

 “Sherlock, listen to me now! And I never thought I´d ever say this-especially not when sober but-ah bugger it! I love you, I truly do, Sherlock Holmes, you brilliant, mad git! I think I´ve loved you from the very first moment I saw you and I will never, ever give anyone the chance to take you away from me, do you hear me?!”

 and he clutched Sherlock even closer to him, nearly crushing him. He didn´t mind. He enjoyed it, loved it, in fact.

And then John heard a tiny sob and felt long, shivering fingers tapping a rhythm on his hip.  
 Morse code for “I love you”. He smiled slightly. Of course he would! ( In the years to come, Sherlock would find countless ways to tell him he loved him, and yes, one of those would definitely be Sherlock telling him with actual words, but for now…)  
“Sleep some more darling, I will be right here with you” John whispered in Sherlock´s ear and felt a slight shudder coming from the lean man “Always! Let go!” Sherlock shuddered violently once more, then put an arm over Johns middle and pretty much passed out again.

John held watch over Sherlock until the sun arose and bathed his exhausted, beautiful and innocent looking face in gold. When he woke again, slowly, he didn’t panic this time, he just blinked a lot and stayed very still. John realised he had to make the first move yet again-and might have to do for a very long time!

So he smiled at him, stretched his arm out slowly and cupped his cheek, whispering   
“Good Morning. How are you feeling today?” Sherlock was still blinking a lot but seemed to be a bit closer to his former self, John could tell, as Sherlock answered “In the mood to kill the Bastard all over again!”  
  
John slowly leaned over, giving Sherlock enough of a warning to get away if he wanted to, but he didn’t move one bit, letting John kiss his plush lips gently and tenderly, closing his eyes and sighing quietly at the sensation. John smiled warmly against his lips and kissed him once more, chastely, sweetly, before drawing back and asking

“Are you up for some breakfast? At least some toast, you know I normally don’t force you to eat but..”  
“John? I could devour a whole cow right now!” Sherlock said, completely seriously, looking John straight in the eyes and John couldn’t help but to giggle.  
  
“Fine” he finally said, “fine! You stay here and wake up properly and I’ll go and make breakfast okay?!”

Sherlock just nodded, stretched obscenely and John hurried to get out of the room. His usual morning wood (“You’re bloody lucky you’re still getting that mate, neither of our friends are that active anymore!” Mike once commented on his “problem” during his rare meetings with his army mates) was one thing during his times sleeping alone, but _now_?! No way in hell he’d bugger (no pun intended) Sherlock with that!  
  
Despite everything the man thought he might have wanted the night before, John still shuddered at the thought of it, the way Sherlock had looked at him, hurt and lost and… _scared_! He had never seen the detective like that and, quite frankly, it had scared him!  
Thinking about that nearly caused his omelet to burn, a dish he could normally do in his sleep.  
 He saved it just in time though, and, as he heard the shower running, he put on the kettle as well and put some bread into the toaster.  


Just as John was done preparing a proper breakfast, Sherlock came wandering into the living room, curls still wet from the shower, fresh pyjamas and his billowing blue dressing gown on and John had to try hard not to stare open-mouthed. Of course he had always thought the man attractive but after last night…

_NO!_ he tried to shake these thoughts out of his head very firmly “ _not the time Watson, absolutely NOT! You’re a doctor and a friend and your best f..the man you lo…your be…BOTH, okay, okay, BOTH! Has been injured and severely scarred-emotionally as well as physically, now is NOT the time! Now is the time for caring!_

And he handed him a cuppa, noticing that Sherlock’s fingers lingered over his a second longer than necessary and also noticed that, while they ate, Sherlock complimented John on his cooking skills until he just had to look away and, finally, even had to get up to do the dishes hurriedly because he couldn’t stand it any longer. Sherlock positioned himself on his usual position on the couch, dressing gown falling open, revealing a nearly see-through grey T-Shirt, his tattered silky pyjama trousers and his surprisingly elegant feet.

John scrubbed at the dishes harder, trying to ignore him.

“So you feel uncomfortable talking about what happened” Sherlock suddenly stated and John froze.  
“You called me pet names and kissed me and…well, not that I expected it but you were generally _there_ for me and I appreciated it very much. I don’t know if you remember but you said that you weren’t gay but you…”   


“YES, Sherlock, I do remember, thanks for bringing it up again!” he said through clenched teeth.  
“Oh” Sherlock made, but his tone became more cautious “so…may I ask why you are so….weird today? It’s fine, you know it is, I’m certainly not the one to blurt it out to the world if you want to keep your precious heterosexual reputation and I’m...well…I’m actually not sure I can erase what happened from my mind palace but if you insist, I could try and…”

“SHERLOCK!” he nearly shouted and a plate shattered on the kitchen floor. He was shaking. With rage, humiliation, sadness, lust…love?! He didn’t even know anymore. He turned around and walked over to the sofa, sat down and took his hand, squeezed it, hard. Sherlock nearly winced.

“Sherlock…it’s not…any of that. I… listen: What I _can_ do is being here for you, taking care of you, even hugging you when things go pear shaped, cleaning up after you and loving you _as a friend!”_

Sherlock’s face fell.

“What I _can’t_ do, however, is having you sleep in my bed, stroking your curls, kissing you occasionally or having…hell! Having _casual sex_ with you – just as friends. I…I know, once you’re back and okay you’ll be…well, you again and won’t need me and it will break my heart! Sherlock” he whispered now “Please…I remember what you said at our first night out at Angelo’s and I respect that! But I can’t… I just CAN’T- you mean too much to me, I’m sorry.” He ended his speech, lamely, cringing and looking to the ground.

There was a long moment of silence but then Sherlock suddenly spoke up, his usual, energy-filled, booming baritone voice shy and tiny “But John! I have changed. _YOU_ have changed me, didn’t you see that? Last night…I…I…see” and he swallowed, hard. “It’s hard for me to…feelings and all that, I’m not used to all of this, I…” and he looked down as John looked up, saw him waving one hand in the air, uncertain movements, fitting his own insurance and he just knew. In this moment, John Watson just _KNEW_! And he went for it, climbed on Sherlock’s lap, cradled his face in both of his hands, looked him in the eyes and whispered, ghosting his breath over his lips

 “Sherlock! Oh God Sherlock, I love you so much! I’m so sorry it took me so long, I’m so sorry it took _YOU_ so long you brilliant idiot, but from this moment on – rest assured that I will never ever leave you, however many gross experiments you leave in the fridge, know that I will ever rescue you, wherever you might be and that I will always risk my life for you, no matter the situation you get yourself into you brilliant, wonderful, beautiful, mad genius!”

He gave Sherlock a second to rasp back a shaky “Yes, always!” And then kissed him with all the love and fervor that he had stored way back in a secret little chamber of his own mind palace during the past year that he’d lived with this - his own - madman!  


It turned out to be quite a lot and they soon found themselves panting and gasping for air but not wanting to let go of each other just yet. Sherlock tugged on the hem of John’s jumper and whispered in his ear “I want… I want… John!”

But, as turned on as he was, alarm bells were ringing in his mind and he climbed off of Sherlock’s lap, an idea forming in his mind. “You…you get this fire working - NO EXPLOSIONS! - and I’ll be right back, okay?!”  
Sherlock nodded, despite looking utterly debauched and frustrated and John waddled back to his bedroom, feeling incredibly uncomfortable with his erection tainting his jeans but feeling good nevertheless, knowing he had done the right thing.

He changed into his pyjamas, sighing contentedly when at least a bit of the pressure on his prick was released but grabbed the lube and a few condoms - better safe than sorry - before he headed back down.  
To his surprise, Sherlock had not only made a fire as he had asked but also covered the floor in front of it with pillows and blankets.  


“You made us a fort, Sherlock” he stated, unbelievingly and it was his turn to blink now.  
“I might have, yes. Problem?”  
Sherlock looked up at him with a vulnerability in his eyes that his smug voice could not entirely hide and John all but fell to his knees, crawling towards the fort and hugging Sherlock’s angular form to himself tightly.   
He felt love radiating from himself and didn’t care anymore whether it was cheesy or not.  


“No” he whispered and kissed Sherlock behind his ear “It’s the most beautiful love nest I have ever seen, thank you!” He could feel Sherlock shiver a bit and put a duvet over the two of them, cuddling close and even closer to Sherlock, but something was still nagging at him and he had to get it out. He felt like they both had to or they couldn’t progress healthily and freely from here on.  
So he took a deep breath and said

“Sherlock?” “Hmmmm?” he purred sleepily back at him. “ I - no. Do you trust me?” Suddenly, Sherlock was not so sleepy anymore “Yes! Yes of course I do John! More than anybody else, why are you asking?” and he raised an eyebrow.  
 “Well” John scratched his head “We have to deal with this before…anything else happens”

Sherlock groaned and rolled around, facing the wall “I told you I’m alright! Let it go!”   
John touched him slightly on the shoulder and he jumped.  
 “See?” he said “You’re not “alright”! I’m not going to go further – or ANYWHERE – with you until we have that cleared. So!”  
 He said, the soldier back in his voice, but still gentle “here’s a cuppa, you can lean your pretty head against these cushions and I won’t touch you unless you ask for it. Now please tell me. Tell me all of it!”  
 Sherlock swallowed hard but accepted the cuppa, laid down but kept fidgeting, protesting for a minute, but finally, he started. Slowly, at first-but then!

 

“I always thought of him as a sort of equal-the brain- it was a contest, wasn’t it?! But then…then...he not only brought you into this, my most vulnerable spot, my very heart, but…” he shuddered. “Say it love, say it!” John urged him on “He…John… he wanted to have me! The ultimate defeat. Have me first, rape me. Rape me and then kill you. I couldn’t…I couldn’t!” and he hid his face in John’s neck. John felt a hot liquid running down his neck but didn’t comment - he clearly wasn’t done with his story yet.   
He pulled himself together after a few seconds and went on.

“At first I wanted to think of you but then I thought…If I should ever survive this and even if nothing would ever happen between us - I wouldn’t want to have to associate this with you in any way.   
I have invested way too much time and too many thoughts into that man, I see that now! You, John Watson, are my compass! You are my heart and soul, you are what keeps me right! “

John stared. He did NOT think he would get the most romantic declaration of love he had ever heard from Sherlock of all people and he fought with his tears while trying to respond.

“Sherlock…Oh God Sherlock! I am…god you always called me an idiot and I really feel like one now, I can’t think of what to say and I…” he saw Sherlock opening his mouth and put his index finger onto his lips “Shush! I wish I hadn’t killed that bastard so quickly now! He deserved torture, a slow death! But he is gone now and I beg of you to at least try and push him into the very back of your mind palace! I’m telling, no, _demanding_ this of you, as your compass, as your Captain!” and then he bent down and kissed him again, sweetly, softly, carefully. “Neither this bastard nor any other person will ever harm you as long as I am around, I promise you, I promise, promise!” John whispered between kisses and both of them became more relaxed and less frightened with each passing kiss.

They spent several minutes like this, John not trying anything, Sherlock not demanding more, just the two of them, affirming their love for each other. When they finally broke apart, Sherlock opened his eyes, looking dazed, happy, and whispered “John…I think you did it! He’s still there, somewhere, but whenever the thought of him, of _this_ comes up, you are there to help me, to save me, to love me. You do love me, don’t you, John?” and he looked shaken again, uncertain. That just wouldn’t do!

John covered his thin frame with his body and his face with kisses “God yes Sherlock! I do! I do, so much! Always have, always will, for ever and ever, I promise!”  
He could feel Sherlock sigh and relax beneath him. “And I will never stop apologising that it took me so bloody long to accept that fact, for holding on to..” “Shhh!” Sherlock made and kissed him again, guiding him down onto his body, exploring his mouth, both of them learning each other once more. And more. And more.

Soon though, Sherlock moaned into John’s mouth when he did something especially clever with his tongue and arched his body up into John’s, his rapidly hardening erection touching another one, for the first time in his life “Jo - ooooohn!” he moaned and John cupped the back of his head to prevent it from hitting the floor and causing a major concussion. “Yes, love?” he whispered into his ear and then proceeded to kiss him, on his forehead, his cheekbones, his jaw, his clavicle, down his chest, his belly, his…

“JOHN!” Sherlock would have been ashamed by that outburst of passion, that demand of carnal pleasure, had he been in his right state of mind, but clearly, he wasn’t.   
Dazed with love, passion and lust, he just repeated Johns name over and over again while said man pulled his trousers down together with his pants, leaving him completely bare and shamefully wanting. “No!” Sherlock squirmed a bit and put a pale arm over his face, but John pushed it off immediately and was back, kissing him and asking “What is it love? Why don’t you want me to see you?”

“I’m not…I’m...too slim and pale and bony and awkward and you…you are”  
“Oh Sherlock!” John kissed him again, deeply. “My best days are long behind me and you are a young, utterly gorgeous man. Your skin is creamy white, it goes on and on and I want to kiss and taste and lick every inch of it! I think I will, in fact!”  
And after that, Sherlock was not able to utter any coherent sentence for a long time.

John was true to his words. He paid tribute to every single part of Sherlock’s body with fingers, lips, teeth and tongue - every part except for his cock.  
John had tongued Sherlock’s nipples and teased them with his fingers while simultaneously sucking a bruise onto Sherlock’s neck so expertly that he had nearly come from this alone. And when he had kissed down Sherlock’s chest and belly, he thought he might just die of sheer pleasure.  
When John had kissed his hipbone however, he could not hold back anymore and he all but screamed out: “please John, PLEASE!”  
  
He felt John grinning against his inner thigh now. “Thought you never beg for anything?!” he asked, teasingly. “John, _please_! Now is not the time toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogooooood!” he shouted when John suddenly swallowed him whole - literally! - and only John’s strong hands kept him from bucking his hips further up into that hotwettight heat that was John’s mouth.

He had never, EVER expected it to be that good. And it was even better! For a few seconds, he was almost sure that this was a dream, another one of his perverse, forbidden fantasies that he occasionally indulged in, but no…

“John!” he gasped, trying to get him off “John!”. Said man popped off with an obscene noise that made Sherlock go beet red “I…I…” “yes love?” John purred and kissed him again with that oh-so-filthy mouth. And Sherlock LOVED it! “I” he gasped “I..need you to..” “Yes Sherlock, use your words, come on!” John teased, while licking and nibbling at his neck again. He was fully aware that both of their cocks were leaking now and he took a brief moment to eye and memorise John’s. Not quite as long as his but wider in girth, pink, shiny with precome and more erect than should be possible for a man his age.

He gulped. He wasn’t sure he…but…what other way would there be? Good God, pull yourself together Sherlock! “I…John…would you please penetrate me?” he asked, quickly, closing his eyes.

There was a bit of a silence but then John cupped his face again, planted a soft kiss on his lips and whispered “No”. Oh. Well…that was rather disapp… “I want you inside of me Sherlock! Make me yours, please!” he kissed him again but he was still blinking. Confused. More than that. He had always assumed… “But I thought…what with you being” “Shut it” “But…I don’t know how” “I will instruct you, don’t worry” Sherlock fidgeted nervously, his erection flagging somewhat “Come here” John ordered, softly, and pulled the detective onto his chest, kissing him again, sweetly, tenderly, reassuringly. “Never anything you don’t want, promise?!” he whispered, and intertwined their hands. Sherlock looked at their hands for a second, then back at John’s face and nodded “and never anything you don’t want to do!” he added. John just nodded and then said “Do you want me to prepare myself or do you…erm…” “John” he rasped “ I don’t want to hurt you and I have never…please! But let me help!”

  
John let out a low groan at this and spread his legs wide. Sherlock’s cock twitched again. “Well then” John said, and his eyes gleamed “see AND observe, Genius!” and he lubed up three fingers, ran first one, then two, then all three of them over his cock, moaning and writhing, then lower, lower, lower…   
And Sherlock now lay on his belly, spreading John’s cheeks wider to see. And he was intoxicated, no, entranced as one finger disappeared into John’s body, then, very slowly, another one. His mouth hung open “Maybe…ah...another time love!” John said, enjoying to see Sherlock being completely at a loss as to what he was insinuating, so John chuckled while he worked himself and there was now a thin film of sweat on his forehead “agghhhh FUCK haven’t done this in ages!” he exclaimed and Sherlock suddenly held his wrist and stopped him from moving. “You...we don’t have to, please, John, I..” “No, not…I didn’t mean…just needs a bit of time to get used to - but GOD I want this, want you, want to feel you, feel all of you in me, I’ve wanted this for so long, I…aaaaaah FUCK YES there we go!” he shouted, his body arching up from the floor and Sherlock could feel his cock hardening so rapidly now, it was getting difficult to breathe. He couldn’t decide whether to watch John fucking himself on his fingers or whether to eye his leaking, flushed, beautiful cock that made him salivate in ways he had never experienced before and that he found very disturbing, if pleasing.

 “John?” he rasped, getting on his knees because the friction of his cock against the sheets combined with the sight in front of him would kill him otherwise, he was almost sure of it. So he knelt. Between John’s legs, his beautiful penis jutting up proudly, dark pink, veins standing out and leaking and John suddenly withdrew his fingers but tilted his hips so Sherlock had an excellent view of the widened, pink hole, slick with lube, and he felt his cock throbbing even more. “Come here!” John commanded, and Sherlock slipped onto him, moaning when his member collided with John’s but letting John kiss him nevertheless  
 “Do you want this, are you really sure you want this? And with me?” John whispered in his ear “and not just because of what happened but because you really want it? Please, please, you have to be sure, it would break my heart otherwise!”

The tears running down Sherlock’s temples were absolutely and certainly not his as he answered: “Yes John! It always has been you and it always will be! No one else will ever have me, body and soul, but are you sure you..”  
“I have never been more sure of anything in my life Sherlock! I want this and I want this with you”  
“I…Johooooooon!” he groaned, when John took his erection in one hand, lined it up and carefully led the tip of his cock into his body, squirming slightly, trying to adjust.

  
Sherlock was panting and gasping already. Dear GOD!  
“Shhhhh” John wiped the sweaty curls out of his face, trying to calm him down with a shaky voice “It’s…It’s alright love…just go easy on me please! But go!”  
Sherlock bent down again to kiss him, shakily, and, purely by instinct, moved a bit further forward. And a bit more. And a bit more. He shuddered violently when he felt himself fully wrapped up in John’s body, and, looking down to where they were both joined; he felt an enormous wave of heat nearly overpowering him. But John…John! John was gasping and grabbing for him and the kissing made this weird, tight feeling even more glorious and then, suddenly, John moved his hips and Sherlock gasped and… _thrust_ and…OHDEARGODFUCKTHATMUSTBEHEAVEN!  
  
He would forever deny that the noises being made during that first encounter came out of his mouth but in this moment it didn’t matter, nothing mattered anymore, except the sensation he felt, the sensation of John and him moving together, their sweaty hands clutched together tightly, never letting go, not ever again, John arching his hips upwards and Sherlock just giving in to instincts, pounding, screaming, moaning, grunting variations of John’s name and mingled “Oh god YES!”‘s and “more!”’s crescendoing into one final duet of a baritone and an alt, singing out the high note of passion and each other’s name at exactly the same time.

Sherlock fell down onto John’s strong chest, panting hard and just listening to John’s rapidly beating heart calming down again, until John winced slightly and he remembered that he was still inside of John.  
They both got on their sides, facing each other, bellies slick with come but neither of them could be arsed to move and clean up just yet.

They just looked at each other for a long time. No deducing, not really. Just looking. Feeling.  
After what seemed like hours to Sherlock (delicious, precious hours, forever to be safely tucked away in his mind palace), John got up, got a wet flannel from the bathroom and cleaned both of them up carefully, then kissed Sherlock again, sweetly, chastely and whispered “Are you okay? Was that okay?”

That made Sherlock smile. And that was when he knew he was fully and truly “alright” again.  
He had John Watson at his side. The best soldier, the best man, the best lover, the best FRIEND he could ever have.  
“Yes” he whispered. “Yes John, my John! I will always be alright, as long as you are by my side”  
And the kiss that John gave him in response was the only assurance he would ever need.


End file.
